


So Unfair

by badfanficmay (alljustgonetohell)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Post Act 7, admittedly bad fic, dave's not out yet, jealous and socially awkward john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:26:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6768739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alljustgonetohell/pseuds/badfanficmay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is jealous of the great relationship Karkat and Dave has, and he is determined to figure out just what is going on between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fic number three of bad fanfic May, which is my attempt to get myself to write every day AND to not worry so much about posting stuff that isn't as great as it could be.

It seemed to John that after beating the game, Dave and Karkat were always together. Even if they were hanging out with someone else, like when they had a picnic by the lake with Jade, they were always together. 

It. Was. So. Unfair.

John was glad that his best bro was happy, Skaia knew Dave deserved happiness, but sometimes he missed having Dave’s undivided attention. Sure, before the game they’d only ever talked online, but he was pretty sure that Dave spent a lot of time talking to only him. Or at most to him, Rose, and Jade. Gosh, it seemed like Dave would have had more friends than that. He certainly had enough now. Even Terezi grinned when she saw him, and also Karkat. Because Karkat was always with him. 

John pulled up pesterchum on his laptop and messaged Dave.

EB: hey dave can we talk?  
TG: sure  
TG: karkat and i are at my place you can come over whenever you want we don’t care  
EB: we?  
EB: you guys sure are hanging out a lot. you must have gotten really close on that meteor!  
TG: you know we did.  
TG: hold on, Karkat made some alternian food he wants me to try  
TG: it looks like a dying dog threw up on it  
TG: come over and try some  
EB: on my way!

—

Dave lived in an oversized can, like they all did, overlooking the city hall that the great architect Jade made with her witchy spacey powers. John didn’t bother knocking before he came in. In the kitchen, Dave was sitting at the table with Karkat leaning over him, practically touching. Both were laughing uproariously. John felt a surge of jealousy. That was exactly the relationship he’d always hoped to have with Dave when they’d finally met. He was dying to know what they were laughing about.

“Hey guys, what’s going on? What’s so funny?” John asked, stepping into the room and trying to look nonchalant. 

“John you have got to try this. Karkat says he used to eat it all the time.”

Karkat mugged at Dave. “It is an Alternian delicacy.” 

Dave laughed again. “It tastes awful, man. Just terrible. John, we have got to get the trolls the Earth delicacy hotdogs. Tell me you thought to catchalogue them. I asked Rose and she just said she should have figured things out sooner, from my ‘affection’ for ‘phallic foods.’”

John laughed like he had understood the joke at all. “I don’t but I bet we’ve got something on LOWAS. You didn’t have any at your house?”

“God no. You know Bro never kept any real food in the house.” 

John caught Karkat giving Dave a concerned look. And this was precisely what he was worried about. Something was going on and he didn’t know what. 

“What’s up with you two? You’ve been acting funny ever since we won the game! I demand to know what’s going on.” 

“Yeah,” Dave said, looking up at Karkat, who slid into the chair next to him. “About that…why don’t you sit down?”


	2. Chapter 2

John slid into a seat across from the two of them. He didn’t like doing it, like he was on the opposite side of his friends. Everything was weird and he had no idea why. 

Dave took a deep breath. It wasn’t like him to feel so wordless. He might babble his way through what he was trying to say but he always at least had a place to start. 

Karkat only let the silence stretch on for so long. “Holy shit, Dave, would you just say it? This is John we’re talking about. He is basically fucking harmless. We already had this stupid ass conversation on the victory platform, do we have to have it all over again? I’ll do it if I have to—“

“Just shut up for a second, okay Karkat? I know you don’t get this human thing, but it’s more serious for us. I told you, stop rushing me. We humans take this shit seriously.”

“There are nine humans left and Rose didn’t have this probl—“

Dave cut Karkat off.“Can we not have this fucking argument in front of John? Considering we had it this morning. And two days ago. And before the fight. You still talk about the Alternian bullshit around your blood so let me have my human homophobic bullshit, okay?”

“Homophobic?” John squirmed, barely able to stand the awkwardness of two of his best friends bickering like a vulgar old married couple. 

“Yeah, listen, I’m not saying you’re homophobic, it’s just shit on Earth was weird, right? Ever since Karkat and I started dating, it’s been like—“

John butted in. “Wait you and Karkat are dating?”

Dave realized a moment too late what he had blurted out. “Uh, yeah. We’re. Kind of a thing.” 

Karkat hid his face in his hands and shook his head.

“Oh, thank god. I thought you were replacing me as your best bud.”

“What? No, of course not. Karkat is definitely not my best bud. Look at him, he can barely take this conversation. I need you, John. I mean, not like that. The only people I had to talk to when Karkat threw a huge baby tantrum were Rose and Kanaya and oh my god can you imagine telling Rose that your boyfriend is flipping out because you told him that you thought Failure to Launch was a better Matthew McConaughey romcom than How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days? Because I can and I wish I couldn’t.” Dave leaned across the table and clapped John on the shoulder. “You will always be my main man, okay. Even if Karkat is technically my man.”

Karkat was, by the end of that monologue, face down on the table with his hands over his ears.

“So we’re cool?”

“We are entirely fucking cool. So cool we should go take our cool selves outside and play some b-ball.” 

“Does Karkat want to…?”

Dave leaned over Karkat and tapped his horn. “Hey we’re going outside you should join us when you’re done with this.”

Karkat just swatted in the general vicinity of Dave’s face, but Dave and John were already halfway out the door.


End file.
